Articles By: Mindy Caliguire

Several months ago, Gary Moon invited me to contribute to Conversations: Gifts From the Monastery. “Several writers will spend a week-long retreat at monasteries from various traditions; perhaps you could represent the evangelical tradition and visit a Protestant retreat house. See if it would work for you to go,” he urged, “and write an article about your experience—about the gifts you’ve received there.”

If you were to ask a room full of people, as I often have, what instigated the greatest level of transformation in their lives so far, the number one answer is always the same: pain. It comes under varying names, of course: “my divorce,” “my illness,” “losing my job,” “finally hitting rock bottom.” Many different ways of saying the same thing: pain.

The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection Between Darkness and Spiritual Growth by Gerald May

“Mindy, if God takes you to the desert, go to the desert and learn what the desert has to teach you.”

I received those unwelcome but perfectly aimed words from a mentor during a particularly difficult season of my life. Unwelcome because I wanted to hear the path out. Out of the desert. Out of the disillusion. Out of the suffering. Out of the confusion. Out of the hopelessness.

Instead, I found her advice raised disturbing questions…

When the hope of a friendship extends beyond the fun and enjoyment of companionship into the realm of the soul, the process of self-disclosure often leads naturally to the places of greatest challenge: our areas of struggle. Some would say that women more naturally dwell in this relational territory, but I find that any relationship that truly begins to delve into our spiritual life will necessarily begin to touch on the reality of our struggles.

Whether we struggle with materialism, negativity, resentment, self-acceptance, prejudice, or irresponsibility, our friends become a safe place in which to talk about the challenge as well as the efforts we are making to turn these over to God’s care.

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Spiritual Friendship introduces you to principles of friendship that bring focus to your spiritual life. You’ll discover what it takes to have a rich, God-centered relationship that will nourish your soul.