First, let me start by saying that I hate that word. Babymoon. It just sounds antithetical. According to Wikipedia, “The etymology of the word babymoon indicates a private time at home for the parents and their newborn to enjoy their time together. More recently, the travel industry has succeeded in redefining the term to also mean a trip before the birth of a child.” Seriously? You’re going to go on some exotic trip “just the two-and-half of you” to a beautiful place and not be able to enjoy a legitimate pina colada [insert eye roll here]? No, thank you.
Sorry. I realize that introduction was a bit harsh, and I’ve no doubt offended the three people that faithfully read my blogs. I think I’m just jealous that I won’t get to go on one of these extravagant trips with my husband before Baby Sadler is here in November. Plus, I guess I’m a little perplexed at the number of people that accept that this will be their last trip EVER together as a husband and wife after a child is born. Maybe I’m holding out some real hope because I don’t yet have children, and in just a matter of months I will be proven completely wrong—all my traveling days will cease. Or, perhaps it’s my defense of marriage—and the necessity I see for couples to invest and protect their time together, especially after the family expands—that makes me so determined that this will NOT be a ‘babymoon’ farewell to our travel days.
So, we’re going on a retreat instead.
You have permission to laugh with me. Don’t let me fool you dear readers, just because I’ve changed the word, doesn’t necessarily mean I’ve changed the meaning entirely. The type of retreat I’m speaking of is one that was recommended to us by a very wise pre-marital therapist in order to maintain the health of our marriage. Good marriages (and good parenting) require work. Just as it is wise to get away for individual solitude as Jesus so often set the template for… I believe it’s important to be intentional with our marriage relationship.
So, we try to get away just the two of us a few times a year. Often these “retreats” are a one-day affair hiking in the north Georgia mountains (yes, we have ‘mountains’ here!) We’ll take a weekend trip occasionally if the calendar and the budget permit. We love the outdoors, so we make a point to go somewhere that we can relax and unplug and enjoy the scenery. The past few years we’ve rented a little cabin along a river (my husband would fly fish for a living if he could) and I read books, cook, take naps, and watch him fish. It is always a much-needed time of relaxation and reflection on the state of our marriage. So, sounds like a perfect “babymoon” to me!
Suggestions for your own couples retreat:
- Be Proactive: If you’re on a budget like us, consider going on a one-day retreat to a place that is no more than a two-hour drive away. Enjoying a walk together with beautiful scenery around is a perfect environment for quality time. You can have an “agenda” of things to discuss if you need, or just let the conversation flow naturally.
- Be Intentional: Plan in advance (so that you can save money and calendar space) to take a weekend or week-long trip just the two of you. VRBO and Travelzoo are my two favorite resources for planning and booking a trip.
- Be Present: If possible “unplug” for the time that you will be together (no checking email, facebook, or football scores) Well, there might be an exception for that last one?! It’s important to give each other undivided attention—which is utterly impossible at home amidst the busyness of each day. Hence—getting AWAY for uninterrupted time together.
Join the Conversation
What about you? Did you take a babymoon? Did your traveling days cease after you had kids?
When was your last “retreat” as a couple? What did you learn?
 Joannah Sadler, LMFT, who is our Managing Editor and also looks after our Features section, divides her time between part time work for the journal, teaching, and working at Richmont Graduate University as a therapist. Joannah is married to Jason and lives in Atlanta.
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