Most of my experiences of the spiritual desert – feeling that God has abandoned me or that I have abandoned God – have been in times of depression. In the past, these times of depression have gone on for weeks, even years. In this season of my life depression is “crouching at the door,” always there, but usually outside of my soul. The times when I am most prone to depression are the times when I am very, very tired.
One of my ways to deal with deep fatigue, spiritual, professional, and personal, is to take a “summer sabbatical.” During the year I am typically busy, intentional, and intense. I try to live my life to the fullest. But I cannot sustain that all year. If I am to avoid the negative aspects of depression, I need several weeks of quiet inactivity each summer.
I am in the middle of my summer sabbatical right now. It has been hard to get going, whatever that means. All I want to do is sit. I don’t even want to think, let alone read. This feels counter-intuitive. It contradicts my need to produce something, to fix something, even to understand something, but my sense is that sitting is exactly what God wants for me right now.
I am reminded of what Eric Sevareid (well-known newscaster of the 1960’s) said when he returned from his three-week vacation. He said, as I recall, “The first two weeks, I sat on a rocking chair on the porch. The third week, I started to rock.”
Maybe next week I will start to rock.
Join the Conversation
Have you ever taken a “summer sabbatical”? What effect did that have on your soul?
When will you start to rock?
 Alice Fryling is a spiritual director and the author of several books, including The Art of Spiritual Listening: Responding to God’s Voice Amid the Noise of Life (WaterBrook Press) and Seeking God Together: An Introduction to Group Spiritual Direction (InterVarsity Press).
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