Surprisingly enough, it was in the process of staying faithful to my spiritual journey that I first began to face my profound ambivalence about life in a body. At the ripe old age of thirty, I could no longer ignore the fact that I was tired, lethargic, and somewhat depressed. Thinking that my lethargy and lack of enthusiasm for life were psychological or spiritual in nature, I went to a psychologist who was also a spiritual director. To my surprise, some of our initial conversations had to do with my physical condition: eating patterns, water intake, how much sleep I was getting, whether I was getting any exercise, and general attention to health issues. Even though I had been paying attention to the condition of my spiritual life for years, no one had ever called any serious attention to the connection between my physical well-being and my life in Christ. This was something of a revelation!
During that time I was reflecting on the story of Elijah’s journey into God’s presence in 1 Kings 19, and I was struck by the attention God gave to Elijah’s physical condition, going so far as to send an angel to guide him in caring for his body. I was comforted to find that even though Elijah was a great prophet, he had the same blind spot I seemed to have: he had let himself become so run down physically that God literally had to send an angel to strengthen his body before they could deal with anything else. The angel got very specific with Elijah, providing him with a cake baked on hot stones (the first angel food cake, I presume!) and a jar of water. Elijah followed the angel’s simple instructions for strengthening his body and then fell into such an exhausted sleep that he almost slept through the next meal. The angel came a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat; otherwise, the journey will be too much for you.”
“What journey?” Elijah might have asked. After all, he had left his life as a prophet in Israel; he had slumped down under a solitary broom tree and told God in no uncertain terms that he was done. But the angel knew better. He knew that Elijah was on a deeply spiritual journey—the journey into the presence of God. And that journey requires strength of both body and soul.
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Ruth Haley Barton is founding president of the Transforming Center (www.thetransformingcenter.org), a ministry dedicated to caring for the souls of pastors and Christian leaders. A trained spiritual director (Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation), teacher, and retreat leader, she is the author of numerous books and resources on the spiritual life including Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership, Sacred Rhythms, and Invitation to Solitude and Silence.
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