I am one who, as my father liked to say, was “vaccinated with a phonograph needle.” I love to talk. I HAVE to talk to process certain conundrums. I sometimes am not sure what I even believe until I’ve heard myself say it out loud. For me, contemplation can be very difficult at times. My words are often flowing before I realize what I am going to say.
This can be a good thing. Often it is not.
I have more times than I care to confess had to extract my foot from my mouth in repentance and shame.
But there is hope for someone like me through a simple training exercise in contemplation before action-in-speaking. In this case, it translates into a few seconds, maybe a few hours of stopping (even mid-sentence), listening for the rustlings of the Holy Spirit in my soul, and thinking through (contemplating) what I need to say into a difficult situation or to a contrary person. It means that action will come but it will not be the first to come. I stop, listen, wait… and then, move to the action of speaking.
Invariably, when I remember to do this rhythm, I find that my post-action contemplation is of a very different sort: pleasing, grace-filled, a “third way” solution that is many hued, not black or white.
This exercise can be done by anyone at anytime: when confronted with the need to speak into a difficult situation, stop, listen, and wait. If need be, tell the situation-that-demands-an-active-response that you will get back to it in a couple of hours or days and then listen some more. Rehearse your words with God as the audience, rehearse your heart feelings with Jesus who loves you and all involved, rehearse your functional creed about the matter with the Holy Spirit who promises to pray in us when we don’t know how to pray (or speak). And then, only then, act with your out loud voice.
You may also hear the Word in your words.
Join the Conversation
Are you, like Valerie, one who needs to process out loud in order to understand your own thoughts? How has this helped or hindered you?
What brings you hope or fear as you contemplate a discipline of ‘stopping’?
 Valerie Hess is an author, instructor in the Spring Arbor University’s Master of Arts in Spiritual Formation and Leadership (MSFL) program, retreat speaker, musician, mother and pastor’s wife. She does a weekly blog for the MSFL program and has written numerous articles, mostly on the themes of spiritual formation through the spiritual disciplines and church music. She has written two books: Habits of a Child’s Heart: Raising Your Kids with the Spiritual Disciplines (co-authored with Dr. Marti Watson Garlett) and Spiritual Disciplines Devotional: A Year of Readings. Her husband is an Associate Pastor at First Presbyterian Church in Boulder, CO. She has two daughters and two son-in-laws.
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